What is my purpose?
It is a question that I have asked myself more often that I would like to admit and until recently I have never really felt confident in my answer. I, like many people I’ve talked to, get hung up on perfecting their answers rather than trying to act on the vague pull you feel when you ask yourself what you want or what you are meant to do with your life. Are we overcomplicating a simple question? Or is actually a scary question?
Why does it feel like a scary question?
Here is my theory- and truly it is just a theory because…well- my theory will explain why. Human beings have been blessed with a “higher level of consciousness” which sounds cool until you realize that higher consciousness really boils down to we are hyper aware of three main things-
- We will all die- but we don’t know how or when- and we don’t know FOR CERTAIN what happens next.
- We are painfully aware that we don’t actually KNOW much of anything.
- We are aware that most other creatures are unaware or at the very least do not care about the first two things so that must make us special but we don’t really know for certain why that is either.
Now immediately- your defenses might flare up and a bunch of “answers” to all those uncertainties are bubbling up in your chest right now- and you may be right! But you might be wrong too- because at the end of the day we don’t know. We believe. Our brains don’t like NOT knowing for certain. It’s a survival instinct to see a problem and then it’s the brain’s job to find answers.
So what do humans do in face of the problem that is not knowing anything for certain?
We create languages, and numbers, theories, religions, systems- to make our brains functions and pull us out of the spiral of unknowing and give us common ground to communicate and function. Like yes 2+2=4 we know that…but we also made up the names and language to communicate that concept. Bears do not care what 2 is or what it represents. It is not something they know or care about. What we KNOW is how we have decided to measure and perceive our realities but that doesn’t make it set in stone or the ultimate truth. It just makes it easier to communicate how we feel, interact, and tangibly understand the unknown.
At this point you might be like okay- fine. But what does this have to do with our purpose and why it’s a stressful question? Everything. Depending on what systems, language, backgrounds, religion, beliefs your brain assigned to you builds up the pressure behind “what is my purpose.” Your brain is looking for the “right” answer and in reality there isn’t one. Your purpose is simply whatever you decide and what you believe is worth your time, energy, and focus. That’s it. Simple as that.
However, to reground you- your beliefs, your systems, your life as YOU know it- are important. They keep you comfortable, safe, and help you navigate this world as we understand it. But remember this- it is all made up so it is okay if these “answers” change. If a system is no longer serving it’s purpose of providing function, comfort to yourself or those around you, or is actively hurting you or others around you- you, we- have full permission to change it because guess what? It’s all made up. There is beauty in knowing you know nothing and choosing to believe in something anyway.
(If you are looking to explore or define your core beliefs I love this cheat sheet to get started!)
So what is your purpose?
I don’t know. You don’t know. But I believe it is whatever sparks passion within your soul. Whatever tugs at your mind when you stop to listen to yourself. Whatever you choose is worth your precious time here on earth- that is your purpose.
I, for one, have decided that my purpose is to try to make the world a better place. I believe that’s my sole responsibility as a mother. It’s my purpose to slow down and splash in puddles and giggle in the rain. It’s my purpose to heal and be the best version of myself and do my best to spread healing to others around me. It’s my purpose put art into the world and write stories that connect people. It’s my purpose to plant flowers in the spring and carve pumpkin in the fall.
There is purpose in everything.
And whether that is divinely written or created by a frantic brain searching for answers- I find that rather beautiful. So when your brain over complicates that answer to the overcomplicated question, follow your heart- it often knows far more than that brain of yours. And know that your answer will never be wrong- it just might change one day and that’s okay.
<3 KR Corless